everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
