idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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