my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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