Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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