youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
