I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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