This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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