UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!