How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
