I'd wear matching sweaters with you
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
