im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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