What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
