your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
