I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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