Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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