absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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