every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
