I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
