we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
