worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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