We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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