I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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