I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
