I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
