paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Who did Billy Mays play for?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
