do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
