He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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