I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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