my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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