her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize