my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
