so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
