my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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