windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
