Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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