we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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