Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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