Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
