Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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