I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
