so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
