If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I want to be your penis for a week.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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