I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Your cock deserves a montage
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
