need another drink. this is the easiest way
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
