He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
