i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
