i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
