your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
