He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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