yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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