...so i touched it.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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