i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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