Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
