U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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