Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
